Due to obvious reasons (yes, this does include retarded people who like to cause people to become physically ill), the RAW correspondent, Marcella, is unable to do her coverage of RAW, therefore, I (her Royal twinny!) is taking over RAW.
It’s a triple threat match to open RAW. The winner will get a WWE title shot at Summerslam against the human jar of mayonnaise. Marcella would be loving this, if retarded people didn’t make her so sick that she’s VOMITTING again. I’m sure she’s rooting for Randy Orton, as for me, I hope Chris Jericho wins, sycophants! LMFAO. Did anyone else see Orton smack Edge’s forehead? Marcellaaaaa would of loved that. Orton went spazzy and won the match, Marci’s probably marking out somewhere! OH AND WHAT THE FUCK died all over Darren Young‘s head? LEAVE JERICHO ALONE NEXUS! What is Otunga anyway? KBAIPLS! BTW, Marcella says she is the leader of Nexus, as she hates everyone! :)
EVE VS. MARYSE W/TED DIBIASE
Eve Torres comes out in a weird and ugly orange and gold outfit. I’m informed by Marcella that Eve wore this last night, that TRAMP! Change your clothes! Maryse comes out in her sexiiiiiii black and studded outfit. She’s accompanied by her bank account, Ted DiBiase. Maryse takes off a huge ROCK off her finger! She prances around in Eve’s face. Eve slaps her but gets kicked in the gut and slaps back. Maryse kicks her ass to the ropes and chokes her out with hew knee. Maryse does a running knee on Eve. She does her hair flip and gets a big pop. Eve fights back but Mary stiffs her with some elbows. She flings Eve in the corner and runs at her but gets smacked. Eve kicks her in the head and goes for a pin. She gets a three count, but Maryse’s foot was on the rope. Ted DiBiase kicks up shit and yells at the ref. Eve rolls out the ring as she’s SCARED! Ted yells like DO YOU NEED GLASSES as Mary’s foot was on the ropes. John Morrison then comes out of nowhere wearing no TOP. He bums Ted DiBiase with some gay move. We see Maryse holding herself at ringside. I hope she SMACKS that stupid ladyboy (AKA JOMO)! I belive this was a number one contenders match, so Eve is number one contender…AGAIN!
WINNER: EVE TORRES
Sheamus is walking past with an icebag on his head because Miz just smacked him with a briefcase. He walks past Gail Kim, Brie Bella and Nikki Bella. They are chatting and start giggling. Sheamus turns to them and yells DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY at them. They stop and just go URGHIES him.
LMFAO! NICE PLASTER MARK HENRY!
Today’s Daily Diva is Maryse and the Diva Focus is Eve Torres. Check out both photoshoots below!
For spoilers concerning WWE Superstars, carry on after the cut.
WWE SUPERSTARS | AIRDATE: 22/07/10
- WWE Unified Tag Team champions The Hart Dynasty (w Natalya) defeated The Usos (w Tamina).
Credit: Gerweck
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