The following coverage is a concise version of events that ensued at the 2011 Royal Rumble.

Vickie Guerrero is wearing a very ugly red top. She bitches about Edge and dares him to spear Dolph because if he will, he loses the match. I like the style of her top, but that shiny material is making me queasy.

Vickie is screaming like a crazy lady. Now she is mute. I wonder why. She needs to educate Edge on fashion. Even though, Ziggler is not on top in the match, Vickie screams FINISH HIM.

Vickie pulls the referee when Edge gets the count. She slap Edge. She slaps him many times and screams at him. Kelly Kelly smacks Vickie into a ball of slime. Lou Thez Press! Oh damn, K2 took out the acting GM.  Bless, Edge won. Vickie comes to and goes nuts. So nuts that she lost one of her eyelashes.  EXCUSE HER!

I am now happy and pleased as Randy Orton did his greatness pose. He better frickin’ always do it again.  Why is it that Miz is wearing that ugly JACKET?!

LAYCOOL vs. NATALYA (C) for Divas Championship.

LAYLA vs. MICHELLE vs. EVE vs. NATALYA (c) For Divas Championship

LAYCOOL are wearing very ugly puke green outfits.  Nattie is wearing new clothes, which are okay. The GM changes the match to a Fatal Four Way because he doesn’t want his mailbox full of complaints.  Eve comes out in a gold outfit. At the end of the match, Eve pins Layla after a moonsault while Michy rolls up Nattie. Eve cries ninety cries as she’s new Divas Champion.

Gail Kim is backstage with Daniel Bryan. They are talking about the Rumble match and how he’s not a nerd. The Bella Twins with flowers come to ask for forgiveness. They tell Gail that he is in Daniel’s league  unlike them. Gail and The Bellas brawl.  Everyone gets slaps including Josh Matthews, referees, and Daniel Bryan.  Bless.

Maryse comes out with Ted Dibiase for two seconds. Thank you for coming.