Welcome to another edition of a Candilicous Impact, where we expect little time in matches, and a whole lot of screaming.

MICKIE JAMES vs TARA

Hardcore Country hits and out comes Mickie James and she’s actually wearing appropriate wrestling gear as opposed to what she’s been wearing the last few times. We cut to a backstage segment of Tara and Madison. Madison tells her to destroy Mickie, or else. Or else what asks Tara, but Madison won’t tell her. Tara doesn’t look too happy with Madison, but she makes her silly Charlie Sheen reference and out she comes. Tara looks great, but the bow on her ass is weird.

Before Tara can even make it into the ring, Mickie charges at her and pulls her in by her hair. Mickie starts off with a flying clothesline followed quickly by a Lou Thesz Press, taking Tara down and proceeds to hit her with a series of forearms to the face before breaking it up. Mickie goes after Tara but Tara hits her in the face, then Mickie hits a flapjack before kipping up. Mickie panders to the crowd briefly before hitting Tara with a couple forearms to the face, which Tara returns with a leg to the gut. Tara hits Mickie with the knee brace to the face then steps on her stomach. Tara then does a little booty shaking before hitting her patent standing moonsault. Tara goes for the cover, but Mickie rolls the shoulder up.

Tara argues with the referee as Mickie stands up in the corner. Tara goes for the run in, but Mickie kicks her then wraps her legs around Tara’s head but before Mickie could do much else, Tara hits a nasty powerbomb, rolling her up in the process for a close two count. Tara climbs the turnbuckle but Mickie falls against the ropes, knocking Tara down to a sitting position. Mickie slaps Tara then climbs up to hit what might have been a hurricanarana, but Tara takes out her leg and Mickie falls into a sitting position on Tara’s lap. The girls fight it out up there in no man’s land, before Mickie falls backwards, her legs still wrapped around Tara.

Tara slams Mickie down to the mat like that then rolls through into a boston crab. Honey, learn to do a decent boston crab if you’re going to try for a submission hold. Mickie manages to crawl to the ropes after a few minutes, forcing the break. Tara waits for Mickie to get up, but she gets tired of waiting after a bit and kicks Mickie. She then sets up for the Widow’s Peak, but Mickie reverses it and hits her patent DDT for the victory.

WINNER: Mickie James

As Mickie celebrates, Madison Rayne walks out onto stage wearing the worst dress I have ever seen her in. Whoever told her she looked good was obviously lying. Madison is not happy, and I’m sure we’ll see some blow out between her and Tara soon.

HERNANDEZ & ANARCHIA vs MATT MORGAN & D-VON – STREET FIGHT MATCH

Hernandez and his boy from last week hit the ring and escorting them are the ever so lovely Sarita and Rosita, the Women’s Tag Team Champions. Sarita and Rosita dawn matching jeans, black high heel boots, and red tops, though Sarita chose to show off the top of what appears to be her bra. Hernandez takes the microphone, Hernandez first introduces the girls, and each give their own little booty hip

shaking dance. Obviously, Sarita is better at this but Rosita has a bit of spunk to hers. Hernandez goes on to introduce the new guy, Anarchia. What a name, wow. Hernandez continues on talking about the new group then gives the microphone to little Rosita. Rosita says something in Spanish; I have no clue what she said. Apparently she said numbers don’t like according to Hernandez. Sarita gets the microphone after a bit and speaks some Spanish herself; all understood was us and Mexicans. Hernandez says eventually we’ll stop worshiping this, and down comes an American flag. He continues on and a Mexican flag drops over the American, blocking it out. This segment is getting disgusting. The crowd chants USA loudly and finally Hernandez announces that he had issued a tag team street fight to Morgan last week.

Morgan’s music finally, and I do mean finally, hits and out he comes with D-Von. D-Von has the microphone and says they accept the challenge. They hit the ring and the girls are already gone. Sarita and Rosita watch on from outside. After the guys all fall to the outside after a certain point, Sarita and Rosita try to distract Morgan and D-Von. Before they can get far though, Velvet comes running out. I adore her shirt “I <3 Bacon”, definitely unique. Velvet takes down Rosita first but Sarita attacks her from behind. She tries to fend off both women, but the numbers game is too much.

The girls continue to attack her as Angelina appears on the stage walking ever so slowly. Angelina looks to be in a daze, and her outfit isn’t all that great either. Winter appears up the ramp next and she looks great as well. She screams Angelina’s name, and Angelina turns around. Winter uses her finger to tell Angelina to come to her, Angelina goes right back to her. They return backstage and the match continues anyways. Sarita and Rosita continue their attack on Velvet, but Morgan scares them off. Hernandez’s group picks up the victory and leave up the ramp celebrating.

WINNER: Hernandez & Anarchia

Something is definitely up with Angelina and Winter, and I’m sure Velvet is going to get to the bottom of it.