It’s Monday night and it’s Halloween, which means it’s the night of the living dead.. The living Diva dead! A zombie pandemic is spreading across the world, taking no prisoners. We’ve got a zombie apocalypse on our hands. The hostile zombies want nothing more than to eat brains and turn the remaining humans into flesh eating, diseased weirdos; including those women of wrestling! I take a look at a select few Divas and Knockouts and their chances of surviving a zombie Diva apocalypse!
The Chickbusters are goofy, fun and determined WWE “Rookie” Divas. Kaitlyn and BFF AJ Lee are all about fun, but when they step in the ring, they mean business. I hope it’s not just me, but I can imagine these two armed with machine guns and machetes, taking it right to the zombies instead of running and hiding. A good game plan and all, but it’s not that sensible considering the world is being overun by the dead freaks.
As stated above, zombies take no prisoners, so that means that even V.P. of the Knockouts division Karen Jarrett isn’t safe! You don’t become a V.P. of anything without being smart and cunning, so those traits would hold Karen off from being eaten alive for a little while. I mean, after using her 
Natalya and the Glamazonian Divas champ Beth Phoenix, have been plowing through the competition in the Divas division, but that’s human Divas, not brain craving, demon Divas. These two girls aren’t dumb though, infact they are the opposite. Both Beth and Natalya are very smart inside the ring and outside the ring. While Glam Slamming and locking in the Sharpshooter on zombies might sound fun, it’s not gonna stop them. The intelligence of these two destructive Divas would help them wade off the undead…. for now!
Recently returned iMPACT! Wrestling Knockout Gail Kim is a former champion and has starred as a lead in a film where she did all her own stunts. Her highflying talent and stunt work would be on her side for the zombie takeover. Gail could easily climb buildings, leap roofs and all sorts. But all of that running, leaping and huricarana-ing zombies would become tiring and tired is something you do not wanna be when you’re surrounded by people who wanna eat your brains. Feeling drained from all the action would be Gail’s downfall, which is why she didn’t score five on the survival ratings. Hey, when zombie’s are around you don’t have time to catch your breath or be tired!
The stripper turned wrestler Kelly Kelly is the typical Diva. But a few weeks ago after losing her butterfly belt, Kelly broke the mold when she went uber psycho crazy on Beth Phoenix. She tried her best to bust Beth open. I can see this side coming over Kelly during the zombie apocalypse, which could hold a few zombies off, but in the long run you need a new strategy and Kelly’s proved over the years that she isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Exhibit A.
Angelina Love has already played a mindless zombie weirdo in iMPACT! Wrestling. She didn’t eat brains and flesh didn’t tickle her fancy though, but instead of fighting them, she’d probably try to join them in her zombie-lina fashion. The naughty blonde would manage to trick the living dead for a short amount of time by drenching herself in sewage, blood and guts, but the smell of her brain would soon emerge out of the stinky crap and she would become a zombie… for real.
The Bella Twins are two of the most deceitful, naughty, sly female wrestlers to ever step foot inside a wrestling ring. Since birth, Brie and Nikki have been causing trouble with one another, and that didn’t stop when they made their debut in the WWE. The pair switched under the ring to confuse their opponent and to pick up their first win; a tactic they continue to use to this day. Using all their trickery and cruel tactics, this dastardly duo would most definitely still be Bella busting the earth long after the zombies have gone.
Bless, it’s SoCal Val. The red haired ring girl of iMPACT! Wrestling wouldn’t last whatsoever in a zombie apocalypse. You know in zombie films you have those lovely pretty girls who think running off screaming is a good idea but in all the films they always get eaten first? Well, that’s Val.
Having a degree in industrial and systems engineering and graduating (with honors!) with a G.P.A. well above 3.5, WWE RAW Diva Eve Torres is a very smart young lady. The couragous former champ also proudly wears a blue belt around her waist, for Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Having all of these amazing talents and traits, Eve has plenty of time to make a decent zombie plan, whether it’s fighting them off with her Jiu-Jitsu abilities or weapons or cars she’s built with her degree, Eve has a lot of time on her hands to help herself and many others from zombies. Something’s got to give though, Torres may be a brainbox and fighting machine but the growing itelligence of the zombies would finally be the end for Eve.
Would the crazy wench that is Winter survive the zombie apocalypse? Oh please, she’d be the cause of it and she’d be controlling all of those zombies that are out to eat everyone up. The demented Diva turned Knockout has shown that she has not one, but several screws loose in that pretty head of hers. She’s a power hungry lover of destruction. She’d be on top of the highest mountain watching her precious zombies tear up the land below her.