No you’re not going crazy. I’m not Trisha or Candice, it is infact me doing the iMPACT! coverage this week, so let’s get right in there with Karen Jarret calling out the Knockouts.

Karen and her cronies, Madison Rayne, Gail Kim and enemy/lackey Traci Brooks all head down to the ring. Madison tries to cover up Traci’s jugs, but Karen’s not there to play games. She wants the booties of TnT, Winter, Angelina and Velvet in the ring! The wanted Knockout booties enter the ring and Karen gets straight on it.

Karen admits she’s failed to turn the Knockouts into classy, covered-up, elegant ladies. She says she’s recieved so many emails, tweets etc. from horny perverts wanting to see more KO flesh. She says she knows some of them will have no problem with it because they have their assets out like ALL THE TIME! She moves onto the “REAL WRESTLER” Tara, but gives her and the other Knockouts a newsflash; Gail Kim is the only real athlete and real wrestler in TNA.

She says there’s gonna be a lingerie ball match so the “prostitutes” better grab their skimpiest, trashiest outfits (which Karen says is normal for some) and if any of the KO’s have a problem with it, she’ll kindly show them the door and tell them to GTFO. Meeting over!

We then delve into the Knockouts lockerroom, where resident rmic stand Christy Hemme is standing by with Velvet Sky, Brooke Tessmacher and Tara. Tara’s mad pissed, she says she thought she left this crap (lingerie matches ) behind her. “We’re not here to be naked, we’re here to be the best wrestlers ever!” she states.

Brooke’s next and she says it’s a slap in the face to the Knockouts division. She admits being a model outside of TNA, but when she gets in the ring all she wants to do is prove herself and put on an amazing match. Velvet says it’s especially degrading to her ‘cos she was champ last week. She says she’s sick to death of the monster Karen. Despite being (un)dressed, they say they’re gonna kick some ass and put on a damn good wrestling match.

Mickie James storms into the clearly PRIVATE lockerroom of the TNA Knockout Tag Team champions. Mickie demands to talk to Gail in private, so the pair go into a closet but the sneaky cameraman catches all the action. Mickie calls Gail a hypocrite and goes to leave. Gail tries to attack but Mickie floors her. Madi flies in and flings Mickie into a locker. “MOVE, MOVE!!” screeches Gail as she shoves Madison out of the small room. Gail then finishes Mickie off.

Ding ding ding! All the face Knockouts are pissy, but the heels are like DFAF-ing. Winter gets on the top rope and poses to the crowd in her weird undies. Tara calls for her buddy Brooke to do the same. Brooke gets on the top rope and pulls open her jersey to reveal her weird undies! All the girls then do pose downs. Brooke and Velvet each hit up a corner as Tara bends over the ropes, but they turned their backs on the naughty Knockouts and got a good thumping. Angelina disposes of Velvet as Madison flings out Tessmacher.

Bonkers Brit, Winter, chokes out Tara on the ropes. She dominates the former WWE Women’s champ as iMPACT! goes to an ad. We come back to Tara firing up on Winter. She hits her standing moonsault, which only gets a to count, before tagging in her buddy Tessmacher! Tara throws Winter into the corner and Brooke gets all Asstastic all over Winter.

Brooke fires up on Winter before a weird game of ring-a-ring-a-rosies begins with the pair. Brooke dropkicks Winter, who falls into a tag by the ‘Queen Bee.’ Madison tries to get one over on Brooke TWICE but fails, until Brooke sends her feet up to Madison in the corner. Madison catches them, throws them through the ropes and yanks Brooke’s hair so she comes crashing down to the mat.

The current Knockout Tag champ chokes the former ECW dancer on the bottom rope. Tag to Winter. Backbreaker. Two count! The “pasty wildcat” (thanks Tazz) tags in to Angelina Love. Love beats down on Tessmacher. Brooke snaps back with a small package, only getting two though. Love’s back on it like a car bonnet, smacking Brooke everywhere.

Brooke ducks an oncoming line from Love and the pair drive each others faces to the mat with a double spinny facebuster. Clap, clap, clap, clap, tag to Madison, tag to Velvet! Sky clotheslines everyone and their mother ninety times before taking Madi out with a bulldog. Velvel goes for her new hooked sitout facebuster finish, but Winter bashed her.

Tara then runs in and takes out Winter, thumping away at her skull. Somehow then ALL the Knockouts are brawling and misbehaving. All the goodies end up meeting in the middle. They nod in sync and fire back, taking out the bad Knockout behind them. TnT take out Winter and Love while Rayne hits her finisher on Velvet. She goes to break her face with the title belt, but Mickie James grabs it and hits the stun gun on Madi. Madi falls into Velvet who finally hits her finisher for the win.

The post show is next with an IRATE Knockout Vice President. Karen expresses how angry and aggrivated she is. She calls all the Knockouts “stupid, little bitches” and says they won’t one up her as much as they try. Karen says because they continue to play games, she’s going shopping and what she buys… they WILL WEAR! She says if they wanna play games then it’s “GAME FREAKIN’ ON BITCHES!”

Next weeks iMPACT! show is certainly gonna heat up where the Knockouts are concerned, as the official preview says:

Sources say Knockouts VP Karen Jarrett is LIVID over the Knockouts disobeying her orders to show more skin on last week’s broadcast, and Karen is planning some major punishment this Thursday for the ladies of IMPACT WRESTLING! Thus far, Jarrett has ruled the Knockouts with an iron first – but the question is, will the Knockouts continue to play with fire and question her authority? Don’t miss it this Thursday!