Last night saw Impact Wrestling’s PPV Lockdown where every match was inside a steel cage. There were TWO Knockouts matches on the show last night, both had gold on the line!

First off Gail Kim faced Velvet Sky for the Knockouts championship, with Madison Rayne at ringside! Then as suspected, Rosita and Sarita challenged newly weds ODB and Eric Young for the Knockouts Tag Titles. For results, continue reading after the cut. Continue Reading… »

Greetings and salutations, and welcome to another edition of SmackDown! This week:  Nikki Bella goes against “The Glamazon” Beth Phoenix:

Beth Phoenix makes her way to the ring followed by Nikki Bella and… WAIT!.. it’s Kelly Kelly! Kelly stays ringside as Beth Phoenix locks her eyes on her. The bell rings and Nikki mocks Beth a little bit, before being take down with a clothesline.  The Glamazon kicks and punches Nikki, and chokes her with her knee.

The camera-man get’s a good shot at Kelly’s worried face (?) as Beth sends Nikki to the corner and again delivers alot of punches and kicks. Kelly approaches the apron and Beth tries to attack her but Kelly’s awesome reflections avoid the attack. Beth’s focus is again on the match, and she runs into the corner only to meet the ring post. Nikki capitalizes and hits the Bella Buster for the 3 count. Beth stays in the ring while Kelly mocks her on the top of the isle.

There was also an AJ segment:

[insert logo that Marc will make for me]

Welcome to Wrestlemania 28! 

Despite not being healthy enough to do coverage, I will do my coverage anyway since WrestleMania is ONLY once a year.

I will be back to covering Raw and WWE PPVs in May since I will receive surgery this coming week.

Now for what you really want to hear about!

Pre WrestleMania Match

Epico & Primo vs. Usos vs. Tyson & Gabriel saw the tag champs (Epico & Primo) win. Rosa Mendes was pleased.

Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee are backstage in an interview. They kiss and AJ does the “YES” dance like a silly.

Now it’s time for Mania.

Lilian Garcia does a TREMENDOUS  job with the anthem.

AJ Lee  helps Daniel Bryan to the ring. She gives him a kiss and Daniel gets flatten by Sheamus.

AJ tries to console the former champion. BLESS!

Backstage, Team Johnny is babbling. Miz tries a pep talk but Brie Bella and Vickie Guerrero give him scary looks.  David Otunga (who thinks he is a stripper) drinks his FAKE coffee everywhere.

Just to let people know, Wrestlemania 29 is in New Jersey. VERY CLOSE TO THIS HAPPY LADY!

Orton loses on his birthday. :(

Cody loses his title in his dress. :(

We see a hype video for divas (all divas minus Kharma and Maxine were shown!) Lots of Layla shown! (Plus, throughout the night we seen footage of the Mania  week featuring superstars and divas!)

Maria Menounos & Kelly Kelly vs. Eve Torres & WWE Divas Champion Beth Phoenix

Eve comes out with Beth (who thinks she is a bird).  Kelly Kelly and Maria then come out.  K2 and Eve start out. They roll around. Kelly takes Eve to the corner for the back elbow  to no avail. . Eve goes up top for the moonsault but Kelly knocks her down. Maria tags in. She and Kelly do a double “sweet face” to Eve in the corner. Eve takes Maria down  and spanks her everywhere.

Finally, Maria tags K2 back in. K2 goes nuts on Beth.   K2 goes up top and hits Molly Holly’s  Molly-Go-Round pinning Beth but  Eve breaks it up. K2 blocks the Glam Slam into a bulldog.  Maria takes ninety years to go on top. Beth lifts Maria over head until Kelly makes the save. They do a dance and Maria rolls up Beth for the win.

Winners: Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos

They honor the HOF’ers.  Congratulations to them all!!!

Brie Bella introduces Team Johnny, who have Vickie Guerrero as the flag bearer.  Nikki Bella introduces Team Teddy, who has Eve sniffing Zack Ryder and Aksana sniffing Teddy.  Vickie cackles EVERYWHERE! She and Aksana get into a catfight which the Bellas join in for fun.

At the end of the match, Eve rolls in and fist pumps with Zack  distracting him, so he loses for his team. BLESS. After the match, she kicks him in the now flat balls.

Why didn’t Aksana rip her weave off?

Torrie Wilson is sitting in the front row with an idiot.

For some reason,  I’m still swooning over how nice CM PUNK looked in his suit in the Hall of Fame. Bless me.

Cameron and Naomi dance with Brodus Clay. Brodus’ MOMMA and her Bridge club dance. They have scared my Uncle, which I’m eternally grateful to them. THANK YOU!

I would like to know if catering at this event was any good….

Awwh Cena is nice to Betty Skaaland, Arnold Skaaland’s wife.

Bless WM 28! Next year better be off the charts or WWE will not know what hits them when messing with the Big Apple!!!

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Looks like we’re going to be seeing some Diva action on Superstars this week! Click ‘Continue Reading’ if you want to know what’s going on.

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Hello, hello! Welcome to another exciting SmackDown, Smacked Down! This week: The resident nerd, AJ goes against one of the Bella’s, Nikki Bella!

The beautiful Bella Twins, make their entrance wearing their Black Catsuit. Out next, we ear “Let’s light it up” and out comes AJ Lee rocking her red outfit. Before the bell could ring, Daniel Bryan’s theme plays and I roll my eyes, he comes out and stays at ringside to support his lovely (lucky son of a gun) girlfriend AJ.
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Welcome to Raw is Marcella!

We are eventually excused by Vickie Guerrero, who looks flawless. She helps Jack Swagger to the ring for his title defense.  Dolph Ziggler comes for the ride as well in his bird jacket.

Swagger and Santino are playing in the ring, only to have  John Laurinaitis and David Otunga to join. This makes Teddy Long so mad since he is the GM of Raw for tonight.  So he arrives with Aksana and Kofi Kingston. Some shit happens. Everyone is being bad. Vickie climbs the apron. Santino stops from giving her the Cobra. SO Aksana and Vickie shout at each other. Oopsy, Aksana shoves Vickie on her bottom.  Santino wins the match and the United States title. Vickie has a cow.  Johnny and Davey get thrown out.  Aksana and the job squad play the  horn.

Alicia Fox vs. Eve Torres

We go back to the arena and  Alicia Fox‘s music is playing as she is dancing in the ring.  Kelly Kelly joins the announcers for commentary as Eve Torres makes her way out to the ring. K2 is cheap popping her Best Buttkicker nominee. She wants votes PEOPLE!

Eve and Fox lock up. Eve takes Foxy down. They play running the ropes for an hour. They both show how quick and athletic they are.   Eve gets taken down after showing off.  Alicia gets rolled up for a Notorious EVE WIN!

Winner: Eve Torres

Post match, Kelly Kelly stands up and makes faces with a smirking Eve. Alicia looks pissed the fuck off! Suddenly,  Zack Ryder returns! He says  he’s glad he and Eve never hooked up because it’s Broskis Before Hoeskis.

Backstage,  Eve runs to Ryder.  She wants to explain so she lays a huge wet kiss on his monkey butt! Ryder smiles like a pale weirdo.  He must not have been feeling well.

AJ LEE helps Daniel Bryan to the ring since he would be lost without her guidance.  Her attire was magnificent, since it was yellow and  had a SKULL!

It was lovely to see Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton being bad to people.

Also, I like The Miz’s  new shirt. I hope Little Jimmy don’t see that!

However, it was not lovely to see that sea urchin, Frizzy Lizard.  Someone let her out of her cage.